I had meant to write a very specific post 8 days ago. It hasn’t happened because well, life is sometimes that way. There are days where it seems that no matter the unexpected “stuff” thrown my way, I’m able to glide through whatever it may be and accomplish all I set out to accomplish. Then there are the other kinds of days. The opposite kind of days. There are any number of reasons for these, but it seems this past week has been so much more that way. I’ve not been gliding by any means. I’ve been stumbling over my own feet (literally), my children’s feet (sometimes) and my husband’s feet (figuratively). Every single thing this week has felt so much more difficult. Even the most simple, every day tasks. So, how do I overcome these periods? Truth be told, I’m not entirely sure, as it’s not just one thing. Sometimes it’s a combination of many things. Sometimes those things don’t necessarily work. Here’s the conclusion I’ve recently come to: Maybe there’s nothing to do. Stay with me! Maybe the best remedy to these types of days, weeks, or even months, is just to let your body and mind feel what it needs to feel without trying to force it to do what it is you perceive it as needing to do. I’ve recently found, that when I let go and allow this to happen. When I allow my body and mind to just go through it, no matter how difficult and painful it might be. No matter how off course I feel it’s put me….the intentional act of letting go so that I can simply go through it, is truly a beautiful thing. Going through something means that there is another side to be found. When I allow myself to just go through it, I’m always surprised at the gifts I find on the other side.
This past week I’ve had personal struggles that I’ll share more about in my book chapters. Additionally, I’ve been in a prolonged flare state with my M.S. which causes a whole host of challenges. Lastly, I’m feeling anxious about the election. I think that many people are. I’m a sensitive person and this election has felt much different from any that I’ve experienced in my lifetime. It has affected me. So, I’ve moved through these things. I’ve allowed myself to feel all of the emotions and unapologetically so. I’ve allowed myself to, once again, accept the fact that my life is not what it once was and does not feel normal. It is in fact, my new normal. I’ve allowed myself to find a quiet place alone, to grieve this fact. To grieve the loss of my old life; my old normal. This week I gave myself permission to teach my children less and play with them more. I gave myself permission to get less housework done because I just couldn’t. I went through all of these things, and while going through them, I found something inside of myself. The things I find when I allow myself to go through the “stuff” that often doesn’t feel good are the things that always turn out to be gifts in the end. Regardless of what I learn about myself; the good, the bad or the ugly, it’s such a lovely thing to become more aware. This helps me to be the best version of myself that I can possibly be. So today, I’m grateful that I’m going through “stuff”.
On another note, my intention 8 days ago, was to write a little something about my reasons for starting a blog. I have actually begun the process of writing a book. I’m already a few chapters in. My first post here, “We were so happy- Part one” is a rough draft of the first chapter. I thought that a blog would be helpful in terms of my future goals with that endeavor, but that it would also be cathartic. As I considered this more carefully, I came to the idea that I’d like to create a community of support and love for others.The theme of my blog is rooted in those ideas. Thanks for reading!
In gratitude always, Trish